I'm frustrated that I cannot go shopping with all 3 of my children and leave without a headache. I mean, aren't I a good enough mother that when I take my children out, they follow me in a perfectly straight line like little ducks, hands down by their side, marching in sync with me, mouths closed, and obeying every command I give? This is what I expect anyways. But, it never fails that I fail miserably at every outting I have with them in tow.
I was questioning myself today after just an hour of shopping and already a headache of what am I doing wrong that I cannot keep my children from touching each other, whining at each other, making loud obnoxious noises and not grabbing every possible piece of clothing that is within their reach? And quickly I found the Holy Spirit reminding me that maybe it is my expectations and perspective that is out of whack, not my children.
I know when I bow my "control" issues to God, when I relax, calm down, quit being so stiff necked, and put my focus on Him and see things from his perspective, that I find that I am more at peace, more patient, more loving, and do not get headaches. I just have not been able to overcome this challenge while I shop with all 3 of my children.
Each time, I have to rely on a Celebrex to calm me down and rid myself of the headache that I created. It frustrates me that I have to rely on modern medicine for something that I am capable of preventing myself, but I just haven't risen to the challenge yet. This is my conviction and my problem. I'm not saying that taking medication is wrong, and that no one should do it. But, for me with this particular situation, I know what causes my headache and it is me. I know how I can prevent getting a headache, yet I fail each time. I make myself tense, over demanding and over controlling of my children, and I'm asking them to not act like children. I need to change my expectations and change my perspective and when I do, I am confident that I will once again enjoy an outting of shopping.
Man is it difficult to change! But through Christ - with His Word, with His strength, with His help, I am capable! Until then, I will just have to keep a Celebrex handy and know I will try again next time.
1 comment:
Angela! I feel your pain...and I only have 1 child to deal with! I'm sure you do this too - Normally before we go in a store, I have a talk with him and tell him how I expect him to act. Sometimes it works, sometimes not! I think it's just a toddler thing ;-) But, boy is it frustrating!
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